I seriously want to punch my Dr. sometimes. I was really hoping to go to the perinatilogist today and get good news that made me feel confident that things were going well and then I could cancel my appt in S.F. and continue on the current path for the next 3 weeks until delivery.
It didn't exactly go that way. I am grateful however that things are going well and the girls appear to be doing fine. What bothers me is the nonchalant half assed assessment I get on ultrasound and the conflicting answers I get week to week from this particular Dr. I feel I have been around enough, learned enough, and researched enough to know when a Dr. is not being thorough on an ultrasound I have had almost weekly for 15 weeks. This first issue today was the sonographer finishing the ultrasound without doing any measurements of the babies. I said to her "umm, aren't we doing a growth check today?" She responds "not that Im aware of, I think this is just a follow up. We just did a growth check 2 weeks ago." to which I follow with "yes, we have been doing a growth check every 2 weeks for the last15 weeks." She states that she will "go find out." This makes me a bit irate because this is the second time they have done this to me and I have explained and discussed why we have been doing these check bi weekly and UCSF recommends this and they have agreed it is a good idea. So why now all of the sudden are we not doing it??? So, I wait and the Dr. walks in and he's all excited and says things are great the fluid looks good, bladders look good, and dopplers look good. All of which I am extremely happy to hear and this is great. My concern and anger of course is because of the growth check mainly because this is what is of extreme concern at this point especially for Baby B because she has such a small share of the placenta. We need to make sure she is growing to determine that life in utero should continue. This is what UCSF has told me and makes complete sense to me. Now maybe I am completely out of touch but Im obviously upset. So I explain to the Dr. that we are supposed to be doing growth checks every 2 weeks as UCSF has explained and we have discussed previously. He says, "Well we don't need to do a growth check every two week because it won't be accurate." "Its not like putting a baby on a scale and weighing them." "Its variable up to 10% both ways." Are you F'in kidding me????? So, why in world have we been doing it for 15 weeks then???? HMMMMM. So when we discussed this being a good idea months ago you were lying to me??? I didn't phrase my next question exactly this way but I said " So why exactly is it inaccurate if we have been doing it this way? Are the babies too big to get as accurate as in the past?" He says "ya"but Ill do it anyway." Meaning he do the growth check for me. With no other explanation or further explanation. I really just feel at this point he's making things up to appease me. I know I am not a Dr. or have near the expertise that he does but if you feel strongly we don't need a growth check EXPLAIN it to me so I understand because you have been telling me for months as does UCSF that we do indeed need it???
So, He does the growth check begrudgingly it seems and measures the babies heads and leg bones. He says that Baby A is 5lbs and Baby B is 4 lbs 13 ozs. So Now I get concerned because Baby A was 5 lbs 3 oz 2 weeks ago. So, does this mean she is not growing? Baby B on the other hand has grown 10 ozs which is good. The thing that upsets me about this is that in S.F. and at other growth checks here in Roseville you measure head, abdomen, leg, and arm to get an accurate measurement of size. He half -assed it and just did head and leg??? So, to me this seems not as accurate. Had he measured all maybe Baby A would be a bit bigger? Just a theory. I just feel completely brushed off and unimportant to this practice. Maybe I am overly worried or we are asking too much but if this is the case they are not explaining to me WHY my concerns are invalid. They just say "ok we we will just do it."I'm all for not needing unnecessary procedures and exams if you can give me a good reason for it. They just never seem to come up with a good reason.
So, at this point I am torn because although all things seem really good regardless of my concerns with the Dr.s lack of thoroughness I still am debating on traveling down to S.F. on Thursday to get a more accurate and thorough ultrasound. Obviously the girls are getting great blood flow on doppler, they have good size bladders, are moving around well, and Baby B seems to be growing. These I can all see for myself on the us. The other thing I am slightly worried about is that the fluid levels are 10cm for baby b and 8 cm for baby A. Although we have had worse and better fluid levels before I was worried that 10 CM was getting on the high side. We have had 12 cm on Baby A sack in the past and they were discussing amnio reduction and stating that she had polyhydramnios in the past. So 10cm is getting closer to that mark. The Dr. today explained to me that 10cm was perfect and that excessive fluid would be 20cm? 20? really? Not according to textbooks. Textbook is >8cm. So I just don't know what to do? Everything seems fine so going to S.F. is not necessary but it would put my mind more at ease.
Scott decided to call UCSF and see if they could take a look at my chart from today in Roseville and see how they feel about us coming down there. I would feel confident that if they read the findings from today and still felt I would do ok without traveling down there then I would feel better. I just want the experts who have been guiding me this whole time about how important growth checks were every 2 weeks to let me know Im doing ok. I would just really beat myself up if things don't go well and I didn't consult UCSF after everything I went through today.
It is very difficult to go from a point where we were monitored so closely for so long and were told that things did not look good and this would be a very difficult pregnancy etc. to now where we have made it this far to be told oh you are fine we will see you in a month. It just doesn't make sense to me or feel right in my heart.
We are waiting to hear back from S.F. to determine if we will travel down there on Thursday. If we do it will be our last appt in S.F. as we are planning to deliver July6, 2012 by C Section. I hope we don't have to go though.
I will continue my NST appointments 2x weekly and go see my regular OB weekly as well. Hopefully we can make it another 19 days with no issues. I am hoping to get these girls closer to 6 lbs in the next 3 weeks. My ob says if I can get them up to 5.5lbs that would be a great weight. I'd prefer bit chubbier but Healthy I will take no matter what the weight.
On a side note, Baby B who has been Breech for sometime now has flipped. So both girls are in the vertex (head down) position. Which by the way when she flipped I could tell and it was pretty painful. So I suppose they are getting prepared to enter this world and meet mom, dad, and their big brother Cole very soon. Cole will be excited to meet his sissies as he calls them.
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